OFF WEEK: PRACTICE SCHEDULE

After their heartbreaking, last-second loss against Minnesota on Saturday, Penn State has an off-week to figure out some things and head back to the old, proverbial drawing board.

Now, I'm not a head coach, and I've never played college basketball, however I've taken the liberty of relieving coach Ed DeChellis' coaching duties until the game on Saturday. Maybe he can spend the time off re-watching some of his old East Tennessee State tapes to remind himself why he won the PSU job in the first place.

So, I'm probably going to need a team manager or someone to make sure the players get this memo because starting 6:00 a.m. tomorrow, it's a whole new ball game.

PRACTICE SCHEDULE AS FOLLOWS:

Tuesday

First of all, Talor Battle will have the day off. After averaging 36.7 minutes per game (a number which is closer to 38-39 minutes a game in the Big Ten schedule) through 23 games so far, the kid certainly deserves some time off. Heck, someone make him breakfast in bed.

No basketball will be played on Tuesday. The day's activity will include no more than a simple lift in the morning followed by 6 hours of watching last year's highlights.

Wednesday

On Wednesday, we'll head over to the Intramural Building on campus for some old-school pick up basketball. Clearly after a 0-11 Big Ten schedule start, this team has forgotten what it feels like to win. Stripped of all Penn State supplied gear, I want Andrew Jones and company to challenge the first five kids they see on Court 1. I believe a little loose, relaxed basketball is exactly what this team needs. Talk some smack, take a foul or two. Couldn't hurt. Obviously, this guy will be there, and he'll most likely score in double-figures the way we've been playing defense in the post, however you have to learn someday. Now, I know...I can hear your skepticism already. "What if they can't cut it in the IM building Dan? What if they actually lose again?" And, here's my response to that; you're exactly right. Maybe we'll just go watch more tape of last year.

Thursday

On Thursday we're going to fire up the team jet. Hand in those 'get out of class for free' passes kids, we have a heavy flight plan.

9:00 a.m. - Louisville, Kentucky to visit the hometown and high-school of Jeff Brooks. I'm sure somewhere tucked away in the trophy case of Doss High School is a shrine to Brooks high-school career. As a Mr. Kentucky finalist and a ESPN top 100 recruit coming out of his senior year, Brooks was one of the most decorated recruits Lion history. However, averaging only 6.8 points a game this season, the forward has certainly not amounted to what this coaching staff envisioned. A visit back to his old stomping grounds might remind him of why he's playing Division One basketball and light a much needed fire under his feet.

12:00 p.m. - Arlington, Texas to the home of Chris Babb. Although he's listed as 6'2, 215 lbs. in the Penn State media guide, Babb plays more like a 5'11, 175 lb. white guy (aka me). We're heading west for a good ol' fashioned Texas BBQ to put some more weight on the kid. Once we're there, I'll make sure he gets a stern talking to from his father whom he credits much of his basketball success to. Hopefully he'll remind him how to fight through a screen, because Babb is constantly knocked, bumped and pushed out of defensive position.

3:00 p.m. - New Orleans, LA. This is more for me than anyone, but we're going to take a quick trip to Bourbon street. Someones gotta show these kids how happy people get when you win. Shirley Temple's for everyone!

6:00 p.m. - State College, PA. Before we actually head back home, we're going to stop off at Dick's to get some Mueller Stickum Grip-Enhancing Spray for Andrew Ott. The Villanova transfer NEEDS to to be able to catch the ball when he's able to get in position under the basket. I think it cost $14 bucks, I'll buy it for him.

Friday

The day before the game, it's back into the BJC first thing in the morning for a high-intensity practice. I'll invite Jamelle Corley and Danny Morrisey back to the practice facility to give the team a good ass-whooping. Hearing the frustrations and motivation from two Penn State - dare I use the words - basketball legends, will do wonders for a team that's desperate for some leadership.

Practice will be dedicated to one thing, and one thing only. They're called SET PLAYS. I don't think Ed's worked on any of these this year, so the team may be a little rusty. With the focus set on running the offense after a timeout, I plan on making the team run anytime Battle is forced to throw up an ill-advised three after play resumes. The game is at 12:00 on Saturday, but I'm guessing Friday's going to be a long day.

Normally I would give Ed back his job first thing in the morning, as I'm sure he'll probably have a few ideas or breakthroughs he'll want to share with his team. However, I can't sit back and let the team suffer through one of his utterly disastrous pre-game speeches. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a fan of Coach D, however, his "motivational" talks leave something to be desired. Maybe we could get this guy.

Something obviously needs to change behind the scenes as the current method just isn't getting these young Lions over the hump. A shock to their normal routine might just do the trick.